Ok guys, sorry it took me awhile to get back but I'm here.  So what was I doing over the break?  Believe it or not, cross stitching.  And watching bowl games, the Iowa Caucuses and the NH Primary and drawing y'all a new cartoon.  That's about it really.
I know this is old news but I really wanted to do a cartoon about it.  I still can't believe they let this anti-Semitic dog into NYC, at least they didn't let him near Ground Zero.  I also wanted to do this cartoon because all of the other ones I saw about this subject referenced his comment about there not being any homosexuals in Iran (I still can't figure out why all the students laughed when he said that).  I may get in trouble for what lil' Spike in the corner is saying but I mean it! 
South Carolina is coming up and I am begging all of y'all over there to vote for a real conservative!  For Pete's sake pick somebody besides McCain!  Or Paul!  C'mon people do we want to lose this election?!?  
Anyway, another semester is about to begin and I hope I have more time to pop by and post more cartoons. I'll be back soon!
By the way, any of y'all ever watch "Mystery Science Theater 3000?"  My brother introduced it to me over the break and it is one of the funniest things I've ever seen! 

Keys to the Right ^.^

    Well guys, it's finals week and I felt it was about time I take a study break and draw another cartoon.  I can't believe how much I've missed doing this!  I've been taking an online cartooning course from a very famous Spanish cartoonist this fall but it was nice to break away from the curriculum ( I got a 92 on the final for that course by the way).  The dreaded Rhetoric final is tomorrow so wish me luck and pray for me.  
    So y'all are probably wondering what I've been up to this past semester.  Basically, I went to work Mon-Thurs part time at a local paper, went to school Mon-Fri, did my homework on the weekends (hardly ever got to go home because of that) :( , fulfilled my duties as historian of our school's Asian culture club, pledged a sorority, tore my hair out from all the stress and lost a lot of sleep.  I do have to say that it has been worth it.  I can finally graduate in the spring and then hopefully head to graduate school in the fall at a rather prestigious school of government at a big shot Texas university.  I still have to fill out all the paper work and take the GRE but I believe I can get it all done by the deadline (I hope).  
    Enough of my rambling, let's get to the cartoon.
I honestly don't remember much about Evel Knievel, only that he jumped a bunch of stuff on his motorcycle and nearly killed himself in the process most of the time, I guess his popularity was more of a 1970's thing.  There weren't very many of these cartoons made, mostly because all the cartoonists were drawing about the Iran intel and making the Bush Admin look like a bunch of war mongerers.  Typical. 
    Is anybody going to the movies this month or next?  I'm reluctant to see "I Am Legend" because it looks kinda frightening.  In this film Will Smith plays a military scientist who is "the last man on earth" surviving in NY after a virus turns every human being on the planet into ravenous vampire-like creatures. I'm reluctant to see a film called "One Missed Call" for the same reason, but at the same time it looks pretty cool.  "One Missed Call" is an Americanized version of a Japanese thriller called "Chakushin Ari," which means that it's in the same vein as "The Ring" and "The Grudge."  The premise is several people get a voicemail message and hear how they die.  I'll put a link to the trailer at the bottom.  A film I definitely plan to line up and see is "Cloverfield," which is produced by J.J. Abrams of "Lost" and is about a giant monster that attacks New York.  This film has caused a lot of hubbub because you only get a little glimpse of the monster in the trailer and people have been speculating what the monster is.  I'll put a link to this trailer too.  If you guys have any suggestions of good movies coming out let me know.
    One final warning to you guys.  I'll be heading home soon and won't have access to my computer until probably after New Year's, so sorry but this might be it for now.  I want to thank everybody for y'all's support as I try and finish school.  God bless y'all and have a Merry Christmas!
Keys to the Right ^.^ 
"One Missed Call" Trailer
"Cloverfield" Trailer

Hi!  Long time no blog you guys!  Sorry, no cartoon this time but as soon as I come up with something I'll post it.  I just want to wish all of y'all a Happy Thanksgiving and to come up for a little Townhall air.  I'm in the homestretch and will be thankful (no pun intended) when this semester is over because I kinda drove myself into the ground this time.  I'm also hoping I can pass this semester because if I don't that will really throw off graduation. 

So, y'all are all probably wondering what I've been doing all this time.  Mostly it's been school work, actual work, sorority stuff, Asian culture club stuff and more school work on the weekends.  Sadly there will be school work that I have to finish over the break. >:( 

But anyway, I'm rambling.  Happy Thanksgiving and I'll be back after finals sometime!
Keys to the Right ^.^
P.S. Don't EVER take Rhetoric!  That class is killing me!

Hi!  I'm back!  And with a cartoon I wanted to do for awhile.  Hard to believe it's been 6 years since that terrible day.  However it didn't take that long for the democrats to forget what we fight for in Iraq and Afghanistan.  I wanted to submit this as a guest cartoon the the campus paper I used to work for but I've probably missed the deadline.  This one would probably also offend the two or three Muslim students on my campus but, meh, doesn't bother me.
I'm already into the third week of school and it feels like I've been going forever.  Along with working part-time, taking 15 hours of senior courses and fulfilling my duty as the historian for our Asian culture club, I'll also be pledging the only Christian Sorority on campus this week.  So, full speed ahead!
I also have a myspace page if any of y'all are interested.  It's www.myspace.com/keys2tharight.  I've been considering posting some of my cartoons there but I'm still debating it. 
Well, until next time (which probably won't be until around Thanksgiving I fear)...
Keys to the Right ^.^

Ok, y'all have probably been wondering where I've been.  Well, I got a job last month and recently I've had to go to work more often (no big deal this is a good job and it'll be good experience for my future career), thus causing me to go to bed earlier more nights than usual.  It's good to post something again but I must warn you my friends this one might be the last one for a while.  School will be starting up in the next few weeks and with taking 15 hours, working part-time and participating in organizational activities, bloging time might be scarce.  So until I can post again, this might be it for now...
About this cartoon, one of my co-workers introduced me to a place called Craig'sList.com and one of the openings was looking for a political cartoonist.  They wanted us to draw a picture of President Bush playing guitar in knee-deep water while a family in a boat off in the distance looked like they needed help.  I knew what they were going for so I drew what they wanted just to humor them.  But before I submitted it, I got a stroke of genius, added and switched some words around and made a conservative point.  I found out yesterday that I didn't make the cut, I guess I could've done a better job and not done everything in such a rush.  I don't really like this cartoon because it reminds me of the time I almost sold out.
Keys to the Right ^.^

Here it is Brian R , and everybody else, the Saddam cartoon my editor turned down because my depiction of Hell was too accurate.  (I did do a Gerald Ford memorial cartoon instead so it's no big loss because I wanted to do that one too.)  Sadly I'm not very good at drawing Saddam nor am I able to draw Ronald Reagan to save my life.  Old news but and important milestone in the War on Terror.  I honestly don't think there were enough of these types of cartoons out there when this actually happened, but that's just my opinion. 

If any of y'all haven't seen "Transformers" yet, go!  You won't regret it!  I saw it Wed. with one of my friends and it was so awesome I wanted to stand up and cheer!  (But I didn't because that would've embarrassed my friend.)

I was looking at the new blogs and apparently comic Jackie Mason has one on here now.  It's called "Jackie Mason: Oy Ya Blog," go check it out.

And just on the random side of things, has anyone noticed how much actor Tony Shalob looks like columnist Charles Krauthammer?  Maybe Shalob could play him in a movie...

Keys to the Right ^.^

Did this one turn out too dark?  I was kinda watching NASCAR while drawing this so if it looks a little less detailed than my previous ones that's why.  (Tony Stewart won, blech.)
Sorry to make fun of your good friend Jimmy C, but this guy just won't croak.  Unless he already has and the powers that be in Cuba are propping him up just like in "Weekend at Bernie's." 
I've drawn cartoons about the afterlife in the past, as a matter of fact my three cartoons that won awards were memorial cartoons.  Which makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me.  I had a great idea for a cartoon about the hanging of Saddam Hussien, but my editor at the time wouldn't let me draw it because he said my rendering of Hell was "too accurate."  And that was just a sketch, how's the actual drawing look?  Is it that scary?  And those are black balloons in case you're wondering.
I saw "The Simpson's Movie" on Wed. with some friends of mine and it was hysterical, I couldn't stop laughing.  There were a couple of parts we could've done without, but otherwise it was a good movie.
Keys to the Right ^.^

Ok, ok, ok.  I think I've got it this time.  Here's the links for the Ralph Wiggum/Simpsons/Bloodhound Gang music video and the video of the butchering of "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
Thanks once again to Jimmy C. for helping me figure out how to do this.
I hope this works...
Keys to the Right ^.^
Bloodhound Gang Ralph Wiggum Music Vid

Kids Butcher Nirvana

Ok, I'm at my whit's end when it comes to posting web links.  So to get to the Ralph Wiggum music video follow these instructions.
1. Go to Youtube.com
2. Type in the following phrase "bloodhound gang ralph wiggum"
3. Click on the video at the very top
4. Enjoy!

If you like that, you might also enjoy (or not enjoy) a clip of three kids completely butchering on of the greatest grunge songs of all time.
1. Go to Youtube
2. Type in "nirvana cover gone wrong"
3. Click on the video at the top of the page
4. Laugh, stare in shock, scream, curse, throw rocks at your computer, toss your cookies, whatever feels appropriate to you.
WARNING! This video is a complete train wreck!  You won't want to stare but you can't look away.  (At least the drummer gets it right)

This past spring I took a feature writing course and one of the assignments was to write a review.  Being the nonconformist that I am, I decided to review the graphic novel series "Liberality for All" instead of doing a movie or a CD like the rest of my classmates.  (OK it's out, I'm a total nerd!) 
Of course when I submitted my work to one of the local papers, they didn't take it.  However the opinion page editor did give me the opportunity to submit a commentary so I did that.  You'll see it at the bottom of this post and as you can probably guess, It wasn't published either.  The editor of the paper said I need a paragraph explaining why Al Gore is an alarmist.  (That's like explaining why butterflies fly, they just do and Gore just is an alarmist!)
Anyway please enjoy.
Keys to the Right ^.^

Carbon offsets the indulgences of our day

    In 1517 a Dominican monk by the name of John Tetzel began selling indulgences in Germany with the promise that they would remiss the purchasers’ sins and even those of their families, living or dead. As we all know a short time later another monk by the name of Martin Luther came along, posted his 95 theses on the door of the Wittenberg church and dispelled the myths about Tetzel’s indulgences, thus putting the Vatican con man out of business.

   Fast forward to 2007 and there is a similar thing happening today. Former Vice President and global warming alarmist Al Gore is urging the rest of us unwashed masses to buy so-called “carbon offsets” in order to somehow repent of the sins we’ve committed against Mother Earth. I use the term “alarmist” because how else can you describe the guy who interprets a one degree increase in temperature as the apocalypse and goes in front of Congress declaring “the Earth has a fever” and ask for the United States to sign onto an international treaty that’s designed to hinder international business? (I’m speaking of the Kyoto protocol).

    According to Carbonfriendly.com and the San Francisco Chronicle, people can buy carbon offsets (or credits as they’re sometimes called) for a small fee from various “eco-friendly” companies such as TerraPass located in California. The company tells the buyer that the money will be spent on such projects as planting new trees, building windmills and other such projects, thus giving the buyer hope that his contribution will help save the world from global warming and that his sin of not being “carbon neutral” enough has somehow been absolved.

    First off, this is nothing more than a big scam to cheat people out of their money and quite possibly a new excuse to raise taxes again. The idea that tiny, insignificant humans can somehow destroy an entire planet just by driving a certain type of car or using a certain kind of light bulb, and then be able to reverse that damage just by buying a certain kind of credit is no more absurd than people thinking that buying a certain piece of paper from a priest will get them and their entire family into heaven. I suppose the old adage “the more things change, the more the more they stay the same” rings true in this case.

    Plus our little prophet of doom-and-gloom Gore is certainly one to talk about living a “carbon neutral” lifestyle. According to a report from The Associated Press on RushLimbaugh.com, Gore’s Tennessee mansion consumed about 191,000 kilowatts of electricity last year and that the average monthly bill was over $1,000. Not to mention the private jets he parades around in across the country in order to show his apocalyptic film “An Inconvenient Truth” to his buddies at the Academy Awards and the hip-hop masses at MTV’s Music Video Awards. Before our self-righteous Tetzel of the 21^st century goes around chastising us for destroying the environment, he should probably do as Jesus said and “remove the beam from your own eye before you remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

    People are certainly free to do what they want with their money, you can buy all the Priuses and florescent light bulbs you want if you think it’s ecologically and politically correct but believe me I’m neither of those.

    I honestly don’t see how driving a certain kind of car or using a certain kind of light bulb or using a certain number of toilet paper squares will help stop climate change. We have to remember that we’re just tiny little humans existing on a planet that‘s been around for millions of years, it’s held up well so far and I don’t see how we could possibly destroy it in just a few years.

    As for me I will not waste my money on carbon offsets, I will not give money to Gore and the rest of his ilk, I will not pay attention to global warming propaganda, I will drive whatever kind of car I wish, I will buy incandescent rather than compact florescent light bulbs, I will advocate for oil drilling on our own shores and I will continue to vote Republican because I choose to. And if any of the following condemns me to that hell reserved for those who chose to ignore the global warming prophets, then I will burn proudly there knowing that I didn’t buy into such garbage. Plus Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity will probably be there too, sweet!

Here it is people, the "Ralph Wiggum" music video. Sorry you didn't see it at first.  Thanks again Jimmy C.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGFPdP0-ug

Keys to the Right ^.^

 Sorry it's been awhile folks, long weekend.  As you've probably already heard, shock jock Don Imus will be returning to radio sometime this fall.  I hope I don't get in trouble for using his infamous words and in case you're wondering, that is a wooden stake he's pulled out of his chest.
In my honest opinion, what Imus said was terrible but he apologized to the Rutgers team and they forgave him.  But, Jackson and Sharpton didn't and apparently their opinion is all that matters.  The only reason I didn't want Imus to be fired was because it inflated Jackson and Sharpton's egos. 
In other news, Lindsey Lohan has a new movie coming out called "I Know Who Killed Me."  The sequel will probably be titled "I Know Who Got Me Totally Wasted Last Night."  The "Simpsons Movie" will also be premiring this Friday and to pass the time until it comes out, here's a music video to the Bloodhound Gang's song "Ralph Wiggum." This song consists of nothing but quotes from Springfield's favorite "special" child and is quite humorous.  I honestly didn't start watching the show until a year ago, boy I'm behind the curve.

<A href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGFPdP0-ug">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGFPdP0-ug</A>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGFPdP0-ughttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGFPdP0-ug

There've been a few cartoons on the subject of Cindy Sheehan planning to challenge Nancy Pelosi for her seat already, so I decided to take a crack at it.  I tried to post this last night but Photobucket was doing a maintenance check or whatever on it's sight so I couldn't do it.  Plus I went to the late showing of "Ratatouille" with a friend so when I got back home I was pretty tired. So, here's take two. 
No doubt in my mind that Casey Sheehan doesn't want to be seen in public in Heaven because of all the crazy stuff his mother's been up to.

My fellow Texans, it's that time of year again, that time of year when the 11th plague comes and engulfs our state.  Yes I'm talking about all those horrible little black crickets!  Along with piling up on every square inch of sidewalk imaginable and smelling terrible, the little boogers have been getting into my apartment through the air conditioning vent.  No telling how many I've squished and sent to a watery grave in the past several weeks.

I was bored yesterday and came up with the top three songs of the suicide bomber.

3. "Young, Dumb and Ugly"-Weird Al Yankovic
2. "Click, Click, Boom"-Saliva
1. "Highway to Hell"-AC/DC

If y'all have anymore that would be good let me know.  We could probably come up with a top ten or top twenty list.

Keys to the Right ^.^

 This one, like my last few, were featured in my campus paper.  This one was the last one that was featured in the paper before I quit due to circumstances that I spoke of in my first post.  What was annoying about this one was that my editor was afraid that the Swastika armband on Ahmadinejad's arm would offend somebody, so he blurred it out. At least he kept the vampire fangs.  So here is the original in all it's untainted glory.
I was out shopping today at Hasting's getting a graduation gift for said editor (sure he's a liberal but he's an alright guy, big WWII and RAF buff) when I noticed a Hillary Clinton voodoo kit.  I was tempted to buy it but I'd spent enough money already that morning.  There was also a George W. Bush voodoo kit (trying to be fair and balanced I suppose). 
I was watching "Hell's Kitchen" this evening when I saw out of the corner of my eye an ad from stopglobalwarming.com that featured a bunch of kids talking about "disasterous floods," "devastating hurricanes," and "massive famine" if we didn't do something.  Geez these people are low, even brainwashing kids to do their anti-capitalist bidding. 
Keys to the Right ^.^

Here's another special request cartoon, I know it's old but my mom thought it was really funny.  This one is about Maddona's adoption of an African child this past fall.  It also ran in my campus paper and even garnered a critical letter from the editor.  The student that wrote the letter accused me of not looking at Maddona's side of the story.  (Like you can take anything Maddona does or says seriously.) I don't have a problem with people adopting kids from foriegn countries, what bothers me is when people do it like it's the latest fashion trend or like they're trying to earn extra brownie points with the Man Upstairs.  Last I checked it didn't work that way.  To me it seemed like that's what Maddona was trying to do. 

On a sad note, I just read on cagle.com that Tulsa, OK cartoonist Doug Marelette was killed in a car accident on July 10.  I didn't always agree with the opinions in his cartoons but I always liked his style.  He will be missed.  Mr. Marlette, say hello to Johnny Hart for us, ok?

Keys to the Right

 I'm probably gonna get in trouble for making a reference to McCain's crash behind enemy lines but hey...
While I like this cartoon the way it is it seems like it's missing something, but what?...
We all knew this amnesty bill would sink his campaign, what gets me is that he didn't.  I better not hear him whine when he drops out of the race cuz he should've seen this coming.  On the plus side this gives Duncan Hunter an opportunity to pull forward.
Go Hunter!
Keys the the Right ^.^